Some of you may wonder at the topic of our discussion. To some, it makes sense, while to others, it doesn’t. Now, the key word in the topic is “territory”. You may ask yourself, “What does territory have to do with my spouse?” My answer is simple: a whole lot. Understanding what territory means before having a clear picture of where we are heading is essential. Territory means land under the control of a person, state, or city; it also refers to the sphere of action or thought. It can also mean an area of specialization or what someone is good at and can function very well in. Now, this brings us to the next question: how much of your spouse do you know? Having the right understanding of our spouse and what he or she is good at will help us appreciate them for who they are and will help remove boredom in our marriage.
THE WILLINGNESS TO KNOW
As we pointed out earlier, having the right understanding of our spouse and what he or she is good at will help us appreciate them for who they are and will help remove boredom in our marriage. Now, the right understanding of our spouse comes with the right knowledge of our spouse. This simply means that if you are experiencing boredom in your marriage, ask yourself this simple question: how much of my spouse do I really know? This brings us to three basic facts: you don’t know as you should know; you haven’t exhausted the knowledge yet; you don’t have a complete understanding yet.
You Don’t Know as You Should Know
Some of us fail to realize the fact that the knowledge we have about our spouse is limited. We feel we know everything there is about them, while in actual fact, we don’t. The reason for this is that we fail to inquire more about them; we fail to explore deeply into their territory to know the vast potentials that God has endowed them with. We are so familiar with them that we don’t venture to explore into them. And familiarity breeds contempt. How then do you expect your marriage to be full of fun and excitement when you look down at your spouse and feel he/she doesn’t have much to offer? This feeling of contempt towards one’s spouse is often the reason why some compare their spouse with someone else. This is extremely bad and uncalled for. Therefore, knowing your spouse as you should, you need the willingness, patience, and sacrifice.
You Haven’t Exhausted the Knowledge Yet
It is not just enough to have knowledge of our spouse’s ability, but how deep are we in that knowledge? The deeper we are in our knowledge regarding our spouse’s ability, the better will be our contribution in enhancing our spouse’s performance or functioning in his or her field of endeavor. Simply put: The deeper our knowledge, the more we bring out the best in our spouse. Conversely, when we are complacent in knowing more of our spouse’s ability, the less we enhance their functioning, thus resulting in boredom in marriage. Therefore, don’t relax or feel you know her enough; inquire more into his or her area of specialization or ability and contribute to bringing out the best in your spouse.
You Don’t Have a Complete Understanding Yet
By exhausting the knowledge regarding of who he or she is, the question then is: Is it possible to exhaust or have a complete understanding of a person’s ability? A person’s potential is vast. When they put their potential into use within their sphere or territory, a lot can be achieved. Therefore, to assume you have a total knowledge of someone’s ability is wrong. Just as a person doesn’t know themselves entirely, neither do you, their observer.
To effectively explore your spouse’s territory, these two questions are of great importance: How often do you stay together to share? How often do you go for outing or vacation? You need intimacy to effectively explore your spouse’s territory.
How Often Do You Stay Together to Share?
There is no better way of exploring your spouse’s territory than being together as often as possible to share; there is no better way of knowing the true worth of your spouse than spending quality time together. By spending time together, you get to discover some qualities and abilities which are previously unknown to you through the sharing of feelings and ideas. What value do you attach to your relationship? Some seem to give more attention to their jobs and business than their matrimonial relationship. Little wonder they don’t value their spouses. How then, would you know your spouse? Or discover his or her true worth except you spend some quality time together? Cultivate the habit of being together. Always create the time for each other. Your relationship is priceless; cherish it and guard it jealously.
How Often Do You Go for Outing or Vacation?
Going for an occasional outing or vacation has a way of making your relationship look youthful. Is your relationship losing its youthfulness? Is it looking rather old-fashioned or unappetizing? Why don’t you go out to places of interest, with your spouse, and get your relationship invigorated? It adds value to your relationship and helps you appreciate your spouse. It also helps to strengthen the bonds between couples. There was this story I heard regarding a couple that found their relationship uninteresting. The husband, in a bid to saving his marriage, thought of ways of bringing back the youthfulness that was in the relationship. He took his wife for an outing; and there, he discovered a beauty in his wife which he didn’t see before then. That automatically strengthened the bond between them. Believe me, that was indeed a territory or area in his wife which he never saw. Friend, there are so many undiscovered territories in your spouse; you just have to take the initiative in discovering them.
THE ULTIMATE REALIZATION
You don’t find fault or look down on someone you know little or nothing about. Endeavor to find that thing in your spouse that makes him or her unique. Each and every one of us is fearfully and wonderfully made by God. Therefore, nobody created by God is worthy of being despised. Explore the territory in your spouse and discover that hidden ability, gift, or beauty yet unnoticed and make your relationship a heaven on earth.
Now, let’s move on to further improvements, critiques based on the NIV version of the Holy Bible, and recommendations to improve the content for an engaging experience.
