As a young person approaches and enters adolescence, he or she faces a brand new challenge, one that has profound implications for his or her future. That challenge is to answer the questions: \u201cWho am I?\u201d, \u201cWhere am I going?\u201d, and \u201cWhere do I belong?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Three Functional Areas<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThe major task of adolescence,\u201d writes Dorothy Corkille Briggs, \u201cis the revaluation of self.\u201d This revaluation uses the teen\u2019s past experiences and influences, as well as the messages he or she receives from parents, teachers, friends, and society in general. These all combine to affect three functional areas in the young person\u2019s estimation of himself or herself:<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Area of Appearance:<\/strong> Many parents have observed that a frequent side effect of adolescence is an inability to pass a mirror without stopping. Young people are often intensely concerned about their appearance; they worry about their hair, their complexion, their clothes, and their weight. Any imperfection, no matter how small, assumes huge importance to a teen, and any criticism of the youth\u2019s appearance is likely to be filed forever in his or her self-concept.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Area of Performance:<\/strong> A teen\u2019s estimate of himself or herself is also formed by how the teen \u2013 and others \u2013 view his or her developing abilities, skills, and intelligence. \u201cI am no good at math; I must be dumb.\u201d \u201cI stink at sports; I\u2019m such a klutz.\u201d \u201cI flunked my driving test; I can\u2019t do anything right.\u201d Such experiences and sentiments can contribute to a poor self-image.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Area of Status:<\/strong> The social structure in which a teen lives and functions (or malfunctions) can be complex and unforgiving. Young people are measured according to who they like, who likes them, whether they are popular, what kind of car they drive (or if they drive), what their parents do, where they live, etc. While such things may seem trivial to a parent or youth worker, they can be immensely influential in a teen\u2019s estimate of his or her own performance and value.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Three Keys to Self-Concept<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n The areas of influence described above work together to help create the self-concept a teen holds in his or her mind and heart. Maurice E. Wagner points out that self-concept consists of three essential elements:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Belongingness:<\/strong> Wagner writes, \u201cBelongingness is an awareness of being wanted and accepted, of being cared for and enjoyed. Our sense of belongingness is fundamentally established in infancy. Children develop feelings of belongingness when loving parents anticipate their discomforts and affectionately provide for their needs.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Worthiness:<\/strong> Wagner writes, \u201cWorthiness is a feeling of \u2018I am good\u2019 or \u2018I count\u2019 or \u2018I am right\u2019. We feel worthy when we do as we should. We verify that sense of worthiness when we sense others\u2019 positive attitudes toward us and their heart endorsement of our actions. When others do not approve, but criticize us, we feel a loss of worthiness.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Competence:<\/strong> Wagner writes, \u201cThis is a feeling of adequacy, of courage, of hopefulness, of strength enough to carry out the tasks of daily life-situations. True competence acknowledges one\u2019s abilities as well as one\u2019s weaknesses. Competence begins to develop in preadolescent years, but it grows into a more fixed attitude as a person finishes his teens. Competence is affected positively by successes, negatively by failures.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Everyone\u2014children, teens, and adults\u2014wants to feel accepted, worthwhile, and competent. Unfortunately, the onset of adolescence often wreaks havoc with those feelings. \u201cYoungsters often experience a decline in self-esteem as they enter their adolescent years,\u201d writes Bruce Bower. \u201cSocial scientists have documented this trend\u2014often more pronounced among girls\u2014over the past 20 years.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Cause of Unhealthy Self-Esteem<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n It is dangerous to oversimplify the many varied factors that contribute to a person\u2019s self-image. In fact, many social scientists still argue over the validity of several claims as to its cause. However, while not all contributing factors can be presented here, several are so clearly influential they must be mentioned.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Abuse:<\/strong> A direct correlation between child abuse and low self-esteem has been documented by a number of studies. In fact, K. Brent Morrow and Gwenddoly Sorell say that \u201cseverity of abuse was the single most powerful predictor of self-esteem\u201d in their study.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The link between abuse and self-esteem is not limited to sexual abuse, or even to physical abuse. Psychologist Irwin Hyman estimates that \u201c50 percent to 60 percent of kids today show some kind of stress as a result of emotional mistreatment at school,\u201d such as sarcastic remarks from teachers or disciplinary actions meant to embarrass children in front of their peers. Mary Beth Marklein reported that \u201cmany mental health experts say tactics such as name-calling, ridicule, or sarcasm can rob children of their self-esteem.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Parental Rejection:<\/strong> Researchers Joan Robertson and Ronald Simons reported that, according to a study they conducted, \u201cperceived parental rejection was significantly associated with both depression and low self-esteem, with low self-esteem showing a strong relationship with depression.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Young people who were raised in a family environment of excessive parental criticism, belittling, shaming\u2014or of neglect and inattention\u2014are likely to struggle with the adolescent task of revaluating themselves and their places in the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Faulty Thinking:<\/strong> Authors Bruce Narramore and Robert S. McGee are among many who point out that youth with low self-esteem often display wrong assumptions and faulty thinking. Some of those damaging assumptions and concepts are:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI must meet certain standards in order to feel good about myself.\u201d Such standards may be the standards of parents, teachers, or friends, or they may be reactions to the standards of those people (like the girl who determined she would never buy secondhand clothes because her parents always did). McGee points out that people who accept this belief respond in one of two ways. Either they become \u201cslaves to perfectionism, driving themselves incessantly towards attaining goals (and basing) their self-worth on their ability to accomplish a goal,\u201d or they despair of ever achieving anything good or ever feeling good about themselves. \u201cBecause of the past failures, they are quick to interpret present failures as an accurate reflection of their worthlessness. Fearing additional failure, they become despondent and quit trying.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI must have the approval of certain others to feel good about myself.\u201d Acceptance of this false belief will lead young people to bow to peer pressure in an effort to gain approval. They may join certain clubs, \u201chang around\u201d with certain groups of people, or experiment with drugs and alcohol in an effort to gain the approval of influential others in their lives. Some will do almost anything for a smile from a particular girl, for a laugh from the right crowd, for a nod of approval from a teacher or youth pastor because they base their self-worth on what they think other people think about them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThose who fail are unworthy of love and deserve to be punished.\u201d Narramore writes, \u201cWe take in our parents\u2019 corrective attitudes and actions just as we take in their goals, ideals, and expectations. To the degree our parents resorted to pressure, fear, shame, or guilt to motivate us, we develop a false assumption that says, \u2018When I fall short of my goals or expectations, I need to be pressured, shamed, frightened, or punished.\u2019\u201d Because the teen years involve so much trial and error\u2014or failure\u2014this assumption can be devastating to a young person\u2019s sense of self-esteem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI am what I am. I cannot change; I am hopeless.\u201d McGee writes, \u201cWhen past failures, dissatisfaction with personal appearance, or bad habits loom so large in our minds that they become the basis for our self-worth, the fourth false belief becomes established in our lives. If we excuse our failures too often and for too long, we soon find our personality glued to them.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Finally, it must be mentioned that, to some extent at least, the revaluation of self that characterizes the teen years is often resolved successfully with the passage of time and the development of one\u2019s abilities, skills, and intelligence. However, self-esteem is such a crucial element to physical, mental, and spiritual health that the wise parent, youth leader, pastor, or teacher will not neglect any opportunity to help a teen mature in this area as in others.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" As a young person approaches and enters adolescence, he or she faces a brand new challenge, one that has profound implications for his or her future. That challenge is to answer the questions: \u201cWho am I?\u201d, \u201cWhere am I going?\u201d, and \u201cWhere do I belong?\u201d Three Functional Areas \u201cThe major task of adolescence,\u201d writes Dorothy […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2448,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[26],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2438","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-emotions"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thegroommagazine.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2438","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thegroommagazine.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thegroommagazine.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thegroommagazine.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thegroommagazine.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2438"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thegroommagazine.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2438\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2449,"href":"https:\/\/thegroommagazine.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2438\/revisions\/2449"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thegroommagazine.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2448"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thegroommagazine.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2438"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thegroommagazine.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2438"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thegroommagazine.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2438"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}